Tangled Up In Blue
by evilwomyn
Summary: Miranda is a lonely, aging librarian who gradually falls in love with Andrea over the course of 20 years. AU, Mirandy.
1. 1987

**Title**: Tangled Up In Blue

**Rating**: T for now, M later on.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Devil Wears Prada.

**Summary**: Miranda is a lonely aging librarian who gradually falls in love with a customer, Andrea, who frequents the library on a near-weekly basis.

**Author's Note**: Hey everyone! Happy New Year! I was writing a Christmas fic but by the time I got half-way through it was like, January 5th, ugh. Anyway. This fic is _**VERY**_ AU. I had this idea for it a couple of days ago and I don't think it's been done before so I thought why not! There may be appearances by Emily and Nigel later on but right now the main focus is just Andrea and Miranda. PLEASE let me know if it is OK/if you like it because then I will know if I should continue or not! Anyway, enjoy (hopefully)!

* * *

_1987_

_MIRANDA AGED 31_  
_ANDREA AGED 6_

* * *

Miranda sighed heavily as she flipped another page of the fashion magazine in front of her. What dull drivel she had resorted to during her latest bout of boredom. The library was usually quite busy on a Monday morning, but today it was near lifeless. The only thing keeping her from dragging the television out of the staff room was the fact that an elementary school class was booked in for their regular visit at 11am. She had been looking forward to that all morning.

Miranda's nose scrunched up at the sight of the emaciated models on the page in front of her, and she flipped the magazine shut with disdain. Just as she considered resorting to the latest Ian McEwan novel, the class she had been expecting practically bursted through the door, bringing the cold New York chill with them. She watched with a fond smile on her face as a few dozen children - aged around 6 or 7, she guessed - started to bounce and run around the library, weaving between shelves while laughing and chattering.

"Es-coos me." A tiny little voice woke her from her daydream.

She looked down and saw a small child, a girl, standing in front of her. Her hair was long, and chestnut brown. Her nose was small and button-like. And her eyes...well Miranda had never seen eyes that big in her entire life. The little girl smiled a with her mouth closed, making Miranda frown slightly, until she realized the pretty little creature had a mouthful of metal. Mentally noting that she had never seen this child before, Miranda assumed that she was new.

"Are you the libra-in?"

Miranda fought the urge to laugh. "Librarian. Yes, yes I'm the librarian."

"Li...lie...brare...ree-en." The little girl frowned as she struggled to say the word.  
"Very good." Miranda felt her heart melt as the little girl rewarded her with a metal-clad toothy grin for the encouragement she received.

"You know that's a really hard word to say. Have you ever thought of being something that _isn't_ hard to say?"

"Like what?" A bemused smirk played on Miranda's face as she rested her cheek in the palm of her hand.

"You could be a rocket shientist!" The adorable little girl had an adorable little lisp. Miranda couldn't help but laugh this time. The little girl gave her a content, satisfied smile and Miranda fought the urge to coo over the beautiful sight before her.

"Can you help me find a book? Miss..." The little girl shifted from foot-to-foot nervously as she inadvertently asked her new friend's name.

"Of course I can. Miranda, my name is Miranda."

"Ok, Miss Miranda! My name is Andrea." The little girl grinned once again as she held her tiny hand up at the librarian. Miranda leaned over her desk slightly and took the small hand in her own, giving it a friendly shake. "It's nice to meet you, Andrea. Now which book is it that you're after today?"

* * *

Miranda had looked up the location of the book that Andrea was after in the new computing database the library was using, and was thankful that the computer hadn't given her a hard time today, as it usually did. Swearing like a sailor in front of 20-odd school children would be unfortunate. She wrote the location down on a piece of paper and handed it to Andrea, who took it with an enthusiastic "thank you Miss Miranda!" and ran over to her teacher for further assistance. Half an hour had passed before the little girl had got her attention again.

This time she was on an oversized beanbag in the sitting area, consumed entirely in her book, when a group of other children surrounded her and started to tease her over her braces. Taunts such as "ugly" and "gross" made Miranda cringe. Soon enough the teacher of the class had put an end to the squabble. Andrea looked up at Miranda, tears threatening to fall from her enormous eyes, and Miranda offered her comfort with a slight nod of the head. Andrea beamed, a goofy smile plastered on her face as she stood - somewhat difficultly as the oversized beanbag threatened to consume her whole, which made Miranda giggle - and gathered up her book and her backpack before walking back over to Miranda's desk.  
"Can I sit with you, Miss Miranda?"

"Of course." Miranda said as she turned in her swivel chair and readied another seat for the child to sit on. Andrea walked behind the desk and put her backpack down on the ground, placed her book on the desk in front of her and struggled to sit on the chair the librarian had got for her. "Thank you Miss Miranda."

Miranda watched fondly as the girl spun around in the chair a few times before pulling a few leavers on the side and elevated it so she sat slightly taller.

"Why do those other children tease you?"

The ecstatic grin on Andrea's face vanished quickly as she bowed her head and her lips formed a thin line, "They don't like my braces."

"Well they're just jealous."

Andrea frowned. "Why would they be jealous?"

"Because..." Miranda struggled to find the words of reassurance this delicate creature needed. "...You have such a pretty face, and when those braces come off you'll be even prettier, if that is possible, because even if you have an amazing smile now, it will be glowing later. And sometimes other people...children...can't handle something that is more beautiful than themselves."

Andrea shyly tucked a wayward strand of hair behind her ear. "You really think I'm pretty?"

"Definitely."

Miranda was rewarded with another beaming grin.

"Sometimes I think mommy and daddy hate me."

"Why on earth would you think that?!" How anyone on earth could hate this adorable creature was beyond Miranda. The only reason she disliked her in the slightest way was because she was breaking her heart.

"Because they've made me ugly like this."

"Oh, no Andrea. Your parents only want what is best for you." Miranda said genuinely. The child's lack of self-esteem was affecting her in a way she could never imagine.

A distant voice had distracted them from their conversation. "OK class, time to go!"

Andrea's tiny eyebrows furrowed with disdain as she stood from her seat and retrieved her book and backpack. "I don't want to go. You're really nice. I wish you were my teacher instead of _her_."

Miranda suppressed a laugh. "It's OK, I'll see you next Monday."

Andrea frowned in thought for another moment before recognition swept across her face and she smiled again. "Yes! Thank you, Miss Miranda." The little girl wrapped her tiny arms around Miranda and gave her a hug. The librarian watched as she gathered her things and joined the class at the end of the line.

Miranda sighed as she returned to her magazine, beginning to count down the days until Andrea's next visit.


	2. 1987, part 2

**Title**: Tangled Up In Blue

**Rating**: T for now, M later on.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Devil Wears Prada or Germaine Greer.

**Summary**: Miranda is a lonely aging librarian who gradually falls in love with a customer, Andrea, who frequents the library on a near-weekly basis.

**Author's Note: **WOW! I'm slightly shocked by the amount of reviews the first chapter had! Amazing. Thank you so much, please keep them coming! Also please take note that despite what happens in this chapter, it is still MIRANDY! Also there's special guest appearance by my favourite book, "The Female Eunuch" by Germaine Greer. Those who follow me on Tumblr will know how much I love Germaine :3

* * *

For the second week in a row, the library was quiet on a Monday morning. Miranda contemplated her entire existence as she read one of her favourite books, Germaine Greer's "The Female Eunuch." She had read it once before when she was in high school, and was so inspired she had planned to enrol in politics at college the following year so that she could really make a difference in the world. But alas, an ear-bashing from her mother convinced her otherwise, and she instead enrolled in a 6 month librarian training course. Just to keep her mother happy.

17 years later, she found this book in the return pile to be shelved. Instead of putting it back in its rightful place, she decided to take it back to her desk and read over it once more before the elementary school class was due for their regular 11AM visit. She was so wrapped up in the book in front of her that she barely even noticed the group of children now leaping enthusiastically around the library.

Miranda bookmarked the page she was on and placed the book down on the desk, looking around and craning her neck slightly to see if she could find her little friend from last week.

She frowned, noticing that Andrea was nowhere to be found. Miranda watched as the teacher of the class approached the desk and placed down a pile of books in front of her. "Returns." The woman said with a courteous smile.

"Thank you. Are you 1 short today?" Miranda asked inquisitively, not wanting to raise suspicion over her interest of the group of children.

"Oh...little Andy? She's got a dentist appointment to get her braces removed. Poor thing."

Miranda nodded. She admitted to herself that she was glad Andrea was having them removed. Although she thought it was kind of inconvenient to have the appointment on a Monday. Just as she started to grumble inwardly over how long it would be before she saw the little girl again, the teacher spoke once more.

"I told her parents that she's got a book that needs to be returned today, so I'm guessing they'll swing by some time in the afternoon after the appointment. Little Andy was really upset about not coming in today, you know. Which is weird because you'd think a kid in her position would be relieved to find out they've got a day off school. Hmm." The teacher shrugged as she walked away to supervise her class, and Miranda sighed as she retrieved her book. Why was she so infatuated with a small child? Maybe Germaine Greer would have the answer she needed.

* * *

It was 5pm and Miranda was getting ready to close the library for the day, when the familiar sound of the chiming bell above the door alerted her to someone else's presence in the building. She looked over to find Andrea skipping along; holding hands with an adult who Miranda presumed was her mother. She felt her heart flutter as the little girl excitedly cheered "Miss Miranda!" with the same goofy grin she had seen last week plastered on her face.

Andrea ran over behind the desk and wrapped her arms around the older woman, warranting a stern scold from her mother.

"It's fine." Miranda reassured with a smile. She briefly returned the hug the little girl gave her before pulling away and looking at her intently. "Your teacher told me you had your braces removed."

Andrea nodded enthusiastically before baring her teeth.

"See, gorgeous."

Andrea beamed. "Guess what?! I had a hotdog, and ice-cream, and...and...and..." Soon enough the little girl was enduring a terrible hyperventilation fit over the excitement of telling Miranda whatt she had consumed in the course of 2 hours after her braces were removed.

Andrea's mother had rushed to her side and bent down, rubbing soothing circles on her back. "Shh, Andy it's ok. Remember those breathing exercises."

Panic was written all over the child's face and she turned to Miranda for reassurance, who only nodded encouragingly in return. Andrea began slowly breathing in and out in order to establish an even pattern. Soon enough she was back to normal, albeit a little bit shy over the drama she had caused.

"She hyperventilates when she gets too excited, or upset, angry..." Andrea's mother explained in a sideways glance to the other woman. Miranda gave another nod as she regarded the woman. She was dressed impeccably well, her clothes looked like they belonged to all the major fashion labels that Miranda wouldn't be able to name if her life depended on it. She assumed the woman was wealthy. Well, most people who sent their children to Dalton were.

"Jacqueline Sachs." The woman, Jacqueline, offered a handshake, which Miranda accepted.

"Miranda Priestly. It's nice to meet you."

Something happened. There was a glint, a sparkle, in Jacqueline's eye that Miranda was unable to determine, and she took note of beautiful the other woman was. Jacqueline smiled at Miranda, and suddenly Miranda felt very shy.

"Are you related to Elvis?" Andrea questioned, now evidently fully recovered from her fit of hyperventilation.

"I don't believe I am. He was Elvis _Presley_, whereas I'm Miranda _Priestly_."

It took Andrea a moment to think this over. At first she couldn't tell the difference between the two surnames, but then recognition dawned on her and she nodded.

Jacqueline reached behind Andrea and into the bag on her pack. She retrieved the book and handed it over to Miranda. "Andy was so worried that she wouldn't be able to come in today. At first I thought that she was scared she'd get a fine for an overdue book, but then I remembered how she had been going on about you all week, so I thought we'd come in and see what all the fuss is about."

"Oh?" Miranda raised an eyebrow as she took the book from Jacqueline and placed it on the desk next to her.

"I'm glad I did." The woman's eyes swept of Miranda's figure as she stood from the kneeling position next to her daughter. "Do you mind if I look around?"

"Of course not." Miranda replied as Andrea stood closer and clung to the librarian's hand.

"Can I stay here with Miss Miranda?"

Jacqueline gave a nod before vanishing between bookshelves.

"She's going to take _ages_." Andrea groaned as she stepped back and pulled a chair, with great difficulty, over next to Miranda. She sat on it the same way he had last week- swivelling around a few times before pulling a leaver on the side so she sat taller.

"What's that?" Andrea asked as she pointed to the book Miranda was reading before.

"_The Female Eunuch_." Miranda took the book in her hand and held it up for Andrea. A picture of the mid-region of a dismantled mannequin with handles on the hips graced the cover, and Andrea scrunched up her nose.

"It looks scary. Is it scary?"

"It can be, depending on your viewpoint, and where you are with your life."

Andrea frowned. "What does that mean?"

Miranda contemplated explaining the entire feminist movement to Andrea, but didn't want to scar the young girl too early in her life. "You're probably a little too young to understand right now. How about I explain it in 5 years?"

Andrea's brows furrowed once more, this time in deep thought. "Five is a small number. Ok. I can wait."

A moment of comfortable silence passed before Andrea spoke again. "Do you like my mom?"

"I think she is a very nice lady." Miranda wasn't sure of the context of the word 'like' in this situation, so she gave the benefit of the doubt and assumed Andrea hadn't noticed the tension between the two women before.

Andrea rolled her eyes. "No. Do you _like_ her?"

Miranda took in a deep, steady breath. She hadn't thought that 6-year-olds were accustomed to decipher what 'liking' someone meant. She shrugged. "I'm not sure."

"Daddy doesn't live with us." Andrea said spontaneously. "Daddy said it's because mommy told him she was Lebanese."

Miranda struggled as she fought the urge to laugh.

"But I don't understand why that would make him leave us. Teacher says that love comes in all colors... Doesn't it?" Andrea's doe-like eyes searched Miranda's for the reassurance she needed.

Miranda reached over and tucked a wild strand of chestnut hair behind a tiny ear. "It sure does." She let her finger trail the side of the young girl's face before dipping down to the underside of her chin. She was rewarded with another toothy grin from Andrea.

The sound of Jacqueline approaching made Miranda retreat into her position behind the desk. Jacqueline placed the books down in front of the librarian, who checked the books and placed them in a brown paper bag. Andrea pushed herself off the chair and hugged Miranda. "Thank you Miss Miranda."

The little girl walked over to her mother and took her hand. Just as they were about to leave, Jacqueline turned back and offered Miranda another handshake, which Miranda accepted again.

"It was lovely meeting you." Jacqueline's hand lingered, and as she pulled back she let her fingers glide over Miranda's palm slightly.

Miranda struggled with words and had decided it was best to just nod. Andrea waved energetically as they left, while Miranda sat, dumbfounded.


	3. 1988

**Title**: Tangled Up In Blue

**Rating**: T for now, M later on.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Devil Wears Prada or Germaine Greer.

**Summary**: Miranda is a lonely aging librarian who gradually falls in love with a customer, Andrea, who frequents the library on a near-weekly basis.

**Author's Note: **Hey everyone! Thanks again for the reviews! They really do keep me motivated to continue the story. A few things, please note that Jacqueline Sachs is not Jacqueline Follet! And no nothing happens between them! Also this chapter is set in 1988, when Miranda and Andrea have known each other for a year. The remaning chapters will take place in the 90s/2000s. Enjoy (hopefully)!

* * *

1988

Miranda aged 32  
Andrea aged 7

Andrea's 7th birthday party was held at the restaurant next to the library. Miranda put the "back in 10 minutes!" sign on the entry door, even though she had planned to gone a little while longer. No one would actually know. Who would be keeping track, anyway?

As Miranda entered the restaurant, she saw Andrea's parents, Jacqueline (who had insisted that Miranda call her 'Jacki'), and Paul standing around a table with a few of Andrea's relatives that she had never met before, but recognised their faces from photographs that the little girl had eagerly shown her before. She had her way over to the table and exchanged pleasantries with the group of adults, feeling Jacki's eyes on her the entire time. The woman's hand pressed gently to the small of her back as she leaned in closer to her.

"Miranda, I'd like you to meet my partner."

Miranda turned to the woman standing next to Andrea's mother and regarded her pleasantly. She looked about 40-ish, and wore a long, flowing, tapestry-like brown dress. Her wavy dark hair fell down to the middle of her back, and had an array of sun-bleached highlights. She looked like she had just stepped out of 1973.

"Rachelle." The hippy woman offered a handshake, which, of course, Miranda accepted. Rachelle retreated and pointedly looked at Jacki, giving a stern, approving nod.

Miranda frowned.

"Miss Miranda!" Andrea's voice echoed from the indoor playground which was conveniently located next to the tabled that the adults were gathered around. Miranda turned her attention to the young girl running in her direction, and noticed the children she had been playing with. Most of them were from Andrea's class at school, and Miranda recognised some of them who had once bullied Andrea over her braces.

She knelt down so that she was at the same height as her little friend, who skipped the remaining steps and wrapped her arms around Miranda's neck. Miranda returned the embrace, revelling in the sweet strawberry scent of Andrea's long hair, before pulling back and retrieving the neatly wrapped present she had on the table before. "I brought you a gift."

"What is it?!" Andrea held it up to her ear and shook it, but then frowned when she found it was solid.

"You'll have to wait and see."

Andrea's eyebrows rose inquisitively. She looked at her mother, telepathically asking for her approval. When Jacki nodded, Andrea began to tear at the paper and held the gift in her hand as if it were as precious as a piece of pure gold. "My favourite book!"

"I figured now you an read it whenever you like without worrying if someone else has already borrowed it." Miranda explained as she tucked a wayward strand of long dark hair behind a tiny ear.

Andrea wrapped her arms around Miranda again and gave her a tight hug. With her back turned to the other adults, Miranda squeezed her eyes shut and savoured the moment. She held Andrea with great delicacy, while letting her hands run over the child's silky smooth hair that cascaded down her back. She felt the little girl shift slightly. A tiny hand pushed at the blonde hair that covered her ear, and then the same tiny hand rested on her shoulder.

"I love you, Miss Miranda."

"I love you too, Andrea."

Begrudgingly, Miranda let go of her friend. She longed for the day that she could hold the girl properly, without raising the suspicion of the adults around her. She felt herself tremble slightly as she feared she was falling in love with her best friend.

* * *

Andrea sat next to Miranda during the birthday lunch. She had ordered what Miranda ordered and drank what Miranda drank, which thankfully was a glass of non-alcoholic beer.

Andrea didn't like it.

Miranda was lost deep in thought, contemplating her relationship with Andrea. She figured the young girl's love for her was a result of hero-worship, and made a mental note to refrain herself from getting her hopes up. Within a few years she would be wearing makeup and dating boys and going to parties. Part of Miranda hoped not, though. She wanted Andrea to herself. She wanted to be the one who sooths the girl's broken ego, like she had done many times before in the last year.

Miranda suddenly felt a hand on her thigh. She had down at the table with Andrea on one side and Jacki on the other. Knowing it wasn't the little girl's hand – as every time she had tried to get the librarian's attention she would tug on her shirt sleeve – she turned her attention to the woman sitting on her right. Jacki leaned in closer and Miranda shuddered as she could feel the woman's breath on her ear.

"Rachelle and I would like you to join us at the house after lunch."

The nerve of this woman. Miranda had rejected her many advances in the last 12 months, and was relieved when Andrea had told her that her "lebanese" mother had found a "lebanese" friend. There was no way she would cross _that_ line. _Ever_.

Rachelle, who was sitting to the woman's right side, leaned over Jacki and looked Miranda in the eye. "For _coffee_."

"Andrea is having her friends over for a slumber party. We'd love for you to _join us_."

Miranda looked at the two women, unsure of what they were suggesting, and then over to Andrea, who must have overheard the conversation because her hand was now resting on Miranda's arm and her big brown eyes were pleading her to say yes.

"Of course. I'd love to." She said to Andrea, accepted the women's invitation.

Andrea's eyes glowed. "I can show you my new doll house that daddy got me!" the girl exclaimed, which only reminded Miranda how young the girl actually was.

* * *

Miranda was practically pulled into the luxurious townhouse by Andrea. She was overwhelmed by the extravagance and sophistication of every detail of the building's interior, and felt rather out of place. Her cheap downtown condo looked like a garbage bin in comparison.

"I have to go play with my friends." Andrea said to Miranda while she frowned, not seeming particularly happy about having to entertain other people, "But I can show you my doll house before you leave?"

"Of course you can sweetheart." Miranda noted Andrea's blush at the nickname, before she hurried off with the other children her age into the backyard for a game of hide-and-seek.

Miranda followed the other adults, Jacki, her ex-husband Paul, and Rachelle into the sitting room. Jacki called upon the maid, a middle-aged Spanish woman named Valentina, to make a pot of coffee and ordered her not to "mess around with it." Apparently Andrea found it amusing once to convince Valentina to replace the sugar with salt and bi-carb soda when Jacki had friends over whom the little girl didn't like.

Miranda suppressed her laugh.

* * *

Miranda glanced at the wall clock every so often to estimate how long to stay before it was deemed "socially acceptable" to retire for the day. She found the situation she was in increasingly uncomfortable. The other adults spoke about various types of cheeses and coffee blends and the latest translation of Baudelaire's work. She found it all extremely pretentious. She never got along well with yuppies.

"What about you, Miranda? How is that little library of yours going?" Paul asked as he stirred his coffee mug in one hand as if it were red wine.

"Very well, thank you for asking." Miranda lied with a smile. it wasn't going well at all. Business had been lacking slightly in the last couple of months due to the opening of a larger, prestigious library a few blocks away, and the council warned Miranda that if the matter weren't sorted, they _would_ shut it down.

"I heard from a council friend of mine that you're in a bit of trouble. You could always turn your little place into a book_store_ or somethin'."

Miranda didn't like this man.

"Anyway. I better be heading off. Got a flight to Sydney at 9AM." The man stood and shook hands with Miranda before turning to the other women and taking their hands in both of his and kissing them in turn. "You ladies behave."

As Paul left the room, he found that the game of hide-and-seek had made its way indoors, and he managed to stop Andrea in her tracks and give her a quick hug goodbye.

"It's wonderful that you have such a good friendship with Andrea's father." Miranda said to Jacki, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yes, it is." Jacki agreed somewhat nonchalantly as she stood and closed the wooden sliding doors, blocking off communication from those who passed through the hallway. Strange.

Rachelle stood and sat next to Miranda on the small couch, stretching out her arm on the backrest behind her while doing so. Miranda watched, confused, as Jacki crossed the sitting room and sat on the other side of her, running a hand up her denim-clad thigh.

'Rachelle and I have a proposition for you."

Oh, no.

Miranda sucked in a deep breath as she felt Rachelle's hand lightly grasp her shoulder. How would she get out of this one without offending them? She didn't want to hurt their feelings but she didn't want a quick three-way fuck either. A woman's body is meant to be savoured. _Focus, Miranda!_

"Would you like to join us for the evening?"

"Uh, um...I...uh..." Miranda stuttered. She stood and bolted across the room the moment she felt Jacki's hand slide an inch further up her thigh. "I can't do this. I'm sorry."

"Oh, nonsense." Jacki purred as she stepped over to the librarian and took her face in her hands. She leaned in and captured Miranda's lips with her own. It took Miranda a moment to come to her sense before she pulled away, a tiny gasp next to her alerting her to the presence of someone else in the room. She looked down and saw that the wooden sliding doors had been opened. Andrea stood in the doorway, her large eyes glowing with tears as she took in the scene before her.

"You _do_ like mommy."

Before Miranda could protest, the little girl had run away. She stepped out into the hallway and saw Andrea turn into the bathroom on the right. She took cautious steps until she reached the door that had closed with a loud bang only seconds before. "Andrea?"

"Go away!"

"Andrea, sweetheart...you need to understand right now that this isn't very easy for me to explain..."

"Then don't bother."

Miranda reached up and ran her fingers over the frame over the door. She knew it was best for her to walk away, but she wanted the opportunity to explain herself first.

"I'm so sorry Andrea." She whispered so quietly that even she had trouble hearing her heartfelt apology. She turned and began to walk away when she heard a click on the door, followed by tiny footsteps.

"You were meant to love me."

"I do love you, darling. Very much." Miranda got down on her knees so that she was once again at eye-level with the girl. She reached over and twirled a strand of Andrea's dark hair in her fingers, before brushing it back behind her shoulders and tenderly holding the young girl's face carefully in the palms of her hands.

"Then why don't you kiss me the way you kissed mommy?"

"You're too young, sweetheart."

"Will you kiss me when I'm older?" Andrea's eyes bored into Miranda's. The older woman mustered all the strength she could in order not the gather the delicate creature before her in an embrace that she would never want to end.

"Yes, my darling."

Andrea encircled her tiny arms around Miranda's neck, like she had done before, and rested her head on the older woman's shoulder. The hug only lasted for a few moments before Andrea pulled away and looked promisingly into Miranda's eyes. "I won't tell mommy."

"Thank you, Andrea."

"Thank you for coming today. And thank you for my present." The girl suddenly grew shy as she her hands fiddled behind her back and she shifted her feet. Miranda dropped a kiss onto her forehead and stood. "I'll see you soon." She reassured her as she wiped her cheek clean of a tear that had escaped. Andrea's big doe eyes looked up at Miranda, pleading her not to go. "Happy birthday, darling." Miranda gave her a gentle pat on the head before turning around, retrieving her handbag from the foyer table, and walking out of the townhouse without a backward glance in Andrea's direction.


	4. 1994

Hey everyone! Extra long chapter this time. I've been hand-writing it over the last week so yesh...ENJOY!

TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter refers to self harm and eating disorders.

* * *

1994

Miranda aged 38  
Andrea aged 13

Six years had passed before Miranda saw Andrea again. At first she assumed the girl and fallen ill, but after a discreet inquiry with the teacher who always brought the children along for their regular Monday morning visits to the library, the discovered that Andrea had been sent to live with her father, and was enrolled in another school on the other side of the city.

Not a day passed where Miranda didn't think of Andrea. The young girl was on her mind constantly, even when she had met a nice man, who she had fallen in like with and agreed to his proposal of marriage. She thought about her while she planned the wedding, she thought about her when she said 'I do', and she even thought about her on the wedding night, when Miranda's twins were conceived. The older woman had eventually fallen out of like with her husband, and had been brainstorming the divorce for over a year now.

Miranda sat behind the checkout of the bookstore she now owned and ran independently. She had converted the library into a store three months after Andrea's 7th birthday, mainly to stop the council's constant nagging. Her twins had been born a year ago, and she was thankful that she had her mother to assist her while she was at work.

Miranda looked up as the bell above the door woke her from her silent musings. She felt her breath hitch in her throat at the sight before her. A teenaged Andrea Sachs approached the counter. Her hair was still long and cascading down the length of her back, although slightly darker than it was before. Black clothing with a few hints of purple clung to her body, and dark eyeliner was thickly applied to her eyes. She shuffled closer, nervously, and fiddled with a piece of folded, stapled paper in her hands.

"Andrea."

"Hello, Miss Miranda." A blinding smile from the younger woman caused Miranda's heart to skip a beat.

"Please, call me Miranda now. You are no longer 6 years old."

Andrea shrugged. "Ok then, _Miranda_. Long-time no see. You look good, from what I remember."

Miranda blushed as she ran a hand through her now short and white hair. "Thank you, Andrea. You have evolved into quite an exceptional young woman."

It was now Andrea's turn to turn a deep shade of red.

"If only that horrible eyeliner didn't draw attention away from your beautiful eyes."

Andrea scoffed.

Miranda looked down at the piece of paper that Andrea had in her hands and frowned. "Is there something I can help you with?"

"Oh, it's nothing, I just…" Andrea shifted around nervously as her hands trembled slightly. "My parents have told me that I need to get a job…because if all the stuff that I want to buy, they say that I need to 'pay my own way', and I just thought that maybe you might…if you have any positions available…I've never worked before but I'm a really fast learner and I'm really reliable, and…" Andrea's anxious speech trailed off as she noticed Miranda was deep in thought.

Miranda had only hired five people the other day; therefore she didn't require another store assistant. But, being completely honest with herself, she knew that she would be a fool to let this opportunity slip. Andrea placed the piece of paper down on the counter in front of Miranda. Her resume.

"When can you start?"

* * *

Andrea's first shift at the bookstore went surprisingly well. Better than either women had anticipated it to be, and Miranda had given the young woman a permanent roster of Saturdays and Sundays from open til close, which was 9AM until 4PM. She wondered what would happen to the girl's social life. Surely she would protest if the roster didn't work around her personal life – but given Andrea's eagerness to work, she disregarded the though with a shrug.

Saturday had come quickly. Miranda was seated at her desk, feeling rather ridiculous for writing a "break-up letter" to her husband, when Andrea's lively presence suddenly brightened up the room.

"Mornin' ma'am." Andrea greeted with a salute. Miranda examined the girl's attire, which was much similar to what she had previously worn during her first shift. A tight purple tank top hid beneath a black, long-sleeved hoodie. Her slim legs were hugged by evidently worn-out black jeans, with the ends tucked into what Miranda would call cowboy boots. Her long, chestnut hair hung just below her bosom, and her twirled her badge-clad handbag around from the handle that rested on her shoulder.

"Andrea, dear, it's summer. What on earth are you doing in that ridiculous get-up?"

Andrea shrugged as she placed her handbag down behind the counter and put on her name badge. "I dunno. I get cold easily."

Miranda looked closely at Andrea's face and saw little balls of sweat forming on her forehead. "You're sweating!"

"Which is perfectly normal! It helps cool us down."

"Andrea, take the jacket off. Please."

"No. What are you writing?"

Miranda reacted quickly. In a matter of seconds she had torn the used paper off of its pad and scrunched it up into a ball. Andrea's eyes widened.

"Oh…KAY."

Miranda shrugged. "You won't tell me yours, I won't tell you mine."

Andrea fiddled nervously with the sleeves of her jacket. Evidently it was something to do with her wrists. "I can't tell you."

"Yes you can, sweetheart." Miranda reassured as she stood and took Andrea's covered wrists delicately in her hands. "You can tell me anything."

"Promise you won't tell my parents?" Andrea's big eyes pleaded with her. She was so spellbound that words failed her, and all she could do was nod.

Andrea took her wrists from Miranda's hands and proceeded to roll up her sleeves. Miranda gasped as she took in the sight before her. Both wrists were covered in scars, some white and healed, some fresh and scabby and covered in blood.

"My god, darling…who did this to you?"

Andrea frowned. "I…I did."

"No, who made you feel this way?"

"Oh." Andrea bowed her head in shame. "The girls at school, mostly. And mom, sometimes. They make me feel worthless. And then this…it feels so right. I deserve the pain."

"Sweetheart." Miranda's voice was a mere whisper as she ran her thumbs gently over Andrea's wrists, before drawing them close to her and covering them with feather-light kisses. "I loathe these people for hurting you like this. You are anything but worthless."

Andrea said nothing as her head remained bowed in front of Miranda.

"I want you to stop."

The young woman's doe eyes bugged open. "I can't Miranda. I…can't."

Miranda motioned for Andrea to sit, and the girl followed her silent orders.

"Why?"

Andrea shrugged. "It just feels good. It feels like I deserve it."

"Because these kids pick on you? No, Andrea…_they_ are the worthless ones."

Andrea looked at Miranda, and slowly, a smile crept onto her face. "Thank you."

Miranda reached over and cupped Andrea's cheeks in the palms of her hands. She tucked a strand of hair behind the girl's ear, before trailing her hands down across her shoulders, then her arms, and then she took the girl's hands in her own and gently kissed the back of her palms.

Andrea gasped.

Miranda looked up and pulled away, thinking she had done something wrong.

"You kissed me."

Andrea stood and closed the space between them. Her standing form towered over Miranda, and the young woman looked down at the speechless librarian, a sense of pride and power running through her, which was evidently written on her face.

Andrea's hand ran through Miranda's snow-white short hair. She leaned down slightly and placed a soft, lingering kiss on the older woman's cheek. Miranda was shocked as she heard herself moan, and felt Andrea's lips form a smirk against her cheek. Miranda stood up and pulled away from Andrea, her entire body shaking as she tried to overcome the whirlwind of emotions coursing through her.

"What's wrong?" Andrea asked innocently. Miranda momentarily contemplated the young girl's supposed stupidity.

"We _cannot_ do this."

"Why on earth not?"

"Because of your age, Andrea."

"Oh, come on." Andrea waved off the comment with a flick of her hand. "I'm very mature for my age."

Miranda shook her head, "That's not what I meant. Certain laws could have me arrested. Darling," Miranda stepped over to the girl and took her cheeks in the palms of her hands as she had done before, "I love you too much to leave you like that."

Andrea's plump lips formed a thin line as her brows furrowed. Her features softened as she nestled her face closer into Miranda's hands. "OK, fine, I'm willing to wait."

Miranda grinned and placed a kiss on Andrea's forehead. She straightened her shoulders to gain a sense of authority back while narrowing her eyes slightly at the woman in front of her. "Now go and stack that pile of new releases. They've been sitting there for a week. I'll go make us a nice cup of tea."

* * *

_6 months later_.

"Miranda?" Andrea's tiny voice rang out through the staff room. The older woman had been sitting in the cold, tiled room for the last hour and a half, and had assumed the girl had come to fetch her. She looked up and found Andrea standing at her side, fidgeting with the sleeves of her jacket.

"I was wondering if instead of using my lunch break, I could just finish half an hour earlier than usual? It's just…my friends and I want to see that Speed movie but it starts at 3:50."

"The one with Keanu Reeves in it?" Carol, one of their co-workers chimed as she stepped into the staff room and retrieved a can of soda from the fridge. "He is _so_ dreamy!"

"Yeah," Andrea shrugged, "He's OK I guess."

"Whadda you think, Miranda?" Carol winked and nudged her boss as she sat down next to her.

"He reminds me of a cardboard cut-out. Classic example of the Kuleshov Effect." Miranda drawled nonchalantly.

Andrea giggled as Carol frowned and stood, neither of them hearing the quirky woman mutter "lesbians" as she left the room.

"Of course you may leave early, Andrea. I apologise for making you work on your birthday. It just slipped my mind, with the – "

"…divorce and everything," Andrea cut off her boss, having heard that excuse way too many times over the last 6 months. "I understand."

"You may still have your lunch break, though."

"It's OK, I'm not hungry."

Miranda recognised the tone in the girl's voice. It was near identical to the day she had tried to avoid taking her jacket off in front of Miranda.

Andrea turned to leave the room but Miranda stopped her. "I swear to god, Andrea, if you are developing an eating disorder I will be _furious_."

Andrea was shocked. Miranda had never been this stern with her before, and now she was too scared to fight back like she usually did.

"If you want to leave early, you will eat."

Hesitantly, Andrea gave a nod as she sat down across from Miranda and picked up an apple from the fruit bowl in the middle of the table. Miranda reached down into her handbag which was kept by her feet under the table and retrieved a neatly wrapped box. She stood and crossed the room. Standing next to Andrea, she placed the present down in front of her and let her hand run through the girl's long, silky brown locks.

"Happy birthday, darling." Miranda dropped a kiss to the top of Andrea's head. She kept her back turned as she left the room, not wanting the girl to see the tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

* * *

Miranda surveyed the store and found everything in order. Her ears peaked, however, when a young man she had never seen before entered the shop. He looked about Andrea's age, and even wore similar clothing.

"Hello ma'am." The boy said curtly as he approached the counter and took off his cap. "I'm just waiting for my girlfriend, Andy, but I think I'm early."

_Girlfriend?_

Miranda fought the snarl that was threatening her upper lip. She had to try and stay positive. But maybe he was only with Andrea for sex. She prayed they hadn't done _that_ yet. Maybe he was the reason Andrea wouldn't eat earlier. Maybe he was a jerk and Miranda needed to convince Andrea she could do better. Maybe she needed to test the waters.

"Oh, Andrea? She already left."

"What? That bitch! I told her I'd pick her up from work!" The boy cursed as he balled his fists and punched the air aggressively. Miranda fought the urge to laugh at the ridiculous spectacle before her.

"The only reason I'm taking her frigid ass out tonight is so I can get some."

Miranda's eyes grew so wide that they nearly fell out. "I would appreciate it if you refrained from speaking of my employee in such a manner. Please leave."

"Whatever. She's not even worth it." The boy put on his cap and huffed his way out of the store, knocking over a shelf on his way.

Miranda felt relief sweep over her, before a pang of guilt hit her when she realised Andrea now had no one – aside from her parents – to sped her birthday with. She stood from her position behind the counter and started to pick up the discarded shelf and books when she heard footsteps behind her.

"What did you just do?"


	5. 1994, part 2

Hello everyone! Thank you so much for the sensational reviews. Keep 'em comin'! Just a little heads-up, this story is going to get a little "intense"...if you don't like the age difference between Mirandy, then please just don't read it. Also this chapter, and the following chapter...and probably a few chapters in the future...will heavily reference self-harm. Anyway...can't say I didn't warn you! Happy readings!

* * *

1994

_Miranda aged 38  
Andrea aged 14_

Miranda stood to face Andrea. She held her hands out, palms facing the young woman, in a pathetic attempt to offer peace. "I can explain."

Andrea crossed her arms in front of her chest and tapped her foot impatiently. "Go on then."

Miranda found herself speechless. Mentally, she contemplated how to approach the issue, knowing she couldn't admit that she wanted the young man gone so that she could have Andrea all to herself. "That boy is no good for you. All he wanted from you was sex. You're worth so much more than that."

Andrea rolled her eyes. "What are you, my mother?"

Miranda's head hung remorsefully. "No, a mother could never feel this way about their child."

The girl's eyes widened. "I thought…I thought we had to wa – "

Miranda silenced her with a wave of her hand. "Let me make it up to you, Andrea."

Andrea's eyes narrowed at the apologetic woman in front of her. Her posture was slumped and every ounce of self-pity was etched on her face. Defeated, Andrea gave in, not wanting to see the woman she was infatuated with in such pain. "Take me to see Pulp Fiction."

"Andrea, you're too young for that."

"Fine. Pulp Fiction or nothing."

Miranda sighed. "What about Forest Gump?"

Andrea crossed her arms tighter in protest. "Pulp. Fiction. Or. Nothing."

* * *

Miranda hadn't been paying attention to the film. She had never cared that much for John Travolta, or Uma Thurman. And quite often she had difficulty telling the difference between Samuel L. Jackson and Morgan Freeman. But none of that mattered right now. Andrea's happiness was the older woman's only concern, and given the half-empty box of popcorn that sat between them and Andrea's audible gasps and giggles at the film in front of her, the girl was plenty happy.

Miranda had momentarily lost interest in her surroundings during the dance scene. She was mentally listing what needed to be done at the store when she felt a small, warm palm on her thigh. Shocked, she gasped at the sudden contact, but was glad that they were seated up the back of the movie theatre, where no one could see them.

Miranda shifted her thigh away from the girl, hoping that this would give Andrea the message, clearly, that was not interested in this type of public display of affection. But Andrea's hand glided further up her thigh, causing Miranda to gasp louder than before. "Andrea, don't."

This girl's lips formed a self-satisfied smirk. "Don't what?" She whispered as she leaned in closer to the older woman and placed a kiss on the side of her neck.

"Just stop what you are doing." Miranda hissed as she took Andrea's hand off of her thigh and moved a seat away from her. Andrea only saw this as a challenge and moved a seat over, closer to Miranda and ran her hand up her thigh again. "Baby, I love you." She whispered as she kissed her neck once more.

"Andrea! Stop!" Miranda pushed the girl's hand away more aggressively this time. Andrea squared her shoulders and looked the older woman in the eyes, confused. "I don't understand," She murmured, "You said you had feelings for me."

"That doesn't mean that I can act on them." Miranda muttered. "Do you _really_ want me to go to jail?"

"Of course not." Andrea went to place her hand on Miranda's thigh again, but the woman pulled away, so she held her shoulder instead. "Of course I don't, baby."

Miranda cringed at the nickname. She had an aversion to anyone addressing her as anything other than her name, and given Andrea's current approach on seduction, the girl must have now been under the impression that they were an item.

"Please, Andrea, don't call me that."

"What? 'Baby'?"

By now their loud whispers had drawn the attention of several other people in the movie theatre and they were told to keep quiet.

"Can we go somewhere to talk about this?" Andrea whispered as she grabbed her handbag from the seat next to her, more than ready to leave.

"I don't want to ruin your birthday." Truth be told, Miranda was too scared to be left alone with the girl in case she tried anything more than her little thigh-grabbing incident earlier on.

"You won't be, Miranda. Please? I really think we should sort this out."

Begrudgingly, Miranda gave in. She stood and retrieved her bag and followed Andrea out of the movie theatre. She sucked in a deep breath as the cool October air hit her, sending chills up her spine and making her curse inwardly for not bringing a coat.

"Would you like my jacket?" Andrea offered chivalrously once she saw Miranda draw her arms close to her in order to keep herself warm.

Miranda shook her head with a sheepish smile. "No. But thank you."

Moments passed before either of them spoke again. They wandered aimlessly around the city, until they found a café around the corner from the bookstore, which they didn't go in to.

"I should probably be getting home to my children." Miranda stated remorsefully.

Andrea pouted. She had forgotten about Caroline and Cassidy, and she wondered how they would react in years to come when they found out her and their mother had started their relationship. Andrea wasted no time on any thoughts of her and Miranda not being together in the future. She wouldn't allow such nonsense to occupy space in her brain.

"We still need to talk, though."

Miranda brought her hand to Andrea's face and softly stroked her cheek while she tucked a wayward strand of dark hair behind a tender ear with the other. "I can't do this, darling. I don't know how many times I have to tell you this. I just want you to know that I'm very sorry for what I did today."

Andrea bit her lip as she felt her eyes welling up with tears. She understood and suddenly, she felt for pushing too far. Nodding her head, Andrea sighed. "I forgive you. And I will wait for you."

"Andrea, I don't want you to put your life on hold for me."

"No, I'm willing to Miranda."

Miranda only sighed at the young woman's stubbornness. Rolling her eyes, she stepped away from Andrea and placed her hand on the girl's shoulders. "Fine. I just don't want you wasting your life."

"I'm n – "

"I don't want you missing any opportunities that could be an advantage to you later on."

Andrea pouted in protest.

"Promise me."

"Ok. Andrea groaned. "Fine."

"Good." Miranda dropped a kiss on the top of Andrea's forehead. "Shall I walk you home?"

"No, it's fine. It's only 6pm, and dad's place is just around the corner." Andrea responded timidly. "Did you want to have dinner with us?"

"I shouldn't. I can hear my children crying for me."

"Right." Andrea shifted awkwardly from foot-to-foot, wanting to avoid that topic entirely. She searched her mind for something else to say, something to end the conversation with, and then she realised she hadn't thanked Miranda for her birthday present.

She reached into her handbag and found the present she hadn't unwrapped yet. Andrea tore at the paper and shoved it back into her bag, hold in her hands a rectangular light blue box. She glanced curiously at Miranda, before opening the box to reveal a shiny pearl necklace.

"Oh my god, Miranda."

"Every woman needs a pair of pearls."

"This is too much." Andrea gasped as she took the necklace from its box and inspected the beads closely. She put the box back in her bag and unclipped the necklace, attempting to put them on by herself.

"No, it's not." Miranda spoke softly as she took the necklace from the girl's hands and gestured for her to turn around. Andrea complied and held her breath as she felt Miranda move her hair to one side and attach the beads to her neck. She ran her hand over the pearls and grinned. Turning around to face Miranda, big brown eyes searched blue ones. "You _do_ love me."

Miranda felt her heart shatter into a million pieces. "Of course I do."

She took in the sight before her. The sparkly pearls looked unusually fitting on the goth teen dressed entirely in different shades of purple and black.

Andrea frowned, deep in thought, before biting her bottom lip and nodding her head. She stepped closer to the older woman and stood on her tip-toes. She placed a hand on Miranda's shoulder and kissed her cheek. Miranda shivered as she felt the girl's lump lips on her skin. Her eyes fluttered closed, and she resisted the urge to push the girl away due to the fear of what passers-by would think of the image before them.

Andrea lingered and savoured the sensation of the older woman's soft skin against her lips. She withdrew from the contact and smiled genuinely at the librarian, before turning on her heel and walking away without another word.

* * *

The next day, Miranda sat at the sales counter checking over the week's inventory when the phone rang at 9:30am. Andrea hadn't arrived for work yet, so Miranda had assumed that the girl had a big night celebrating her fourteenth birthday.

She answered the phone on the third ring and was surprised to hear Andrea's father, Paul, on the other end.

"Hi Miranda. I'm afraid Andy won't be able to make it in today."

"Is she ok?"

"She's not feeling very well. We've uh…" There was a momentary pause and Miranda could hear the man sigh deeply. "We've had to take her to the hospital."

Miranda panicked, hoping nothing had happened to her last night when she was walking home alone. _Perhaps it's just a flu_, she thought, giving herself the benefit of the doubt. "Is there anything I can do? Can I make her some soup?"

"No…no she won't be needing _soup_."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Miranda hesitated to speak again. She blamed herself for what Andrea had done, and didn't want to cause further trouble by involving herself in the situation.

"Maybe you could come in and chat with her? She trusts you…and she won't open up to the psychiatrist. I don't know what to do."

Miranda bit her lip, afraid to accept the offer, but the pleading tone in Paul's voice broke Miranda's heart. She knew that if either of her children were in Andrea's situation, she would want the person who made them feel safe and loved around them. Taking a deep, settling breath to calm her nerves, she groaned inwardly before replying, saying that she would be in at 5pm after work.

Miranda then settled in for another routine Sunday, which she was sure would pass twice as slowly without Andrea's lively presence keeping her awake.


	6. 1994, part 3

**A/N**: Hey everyone! Long time since my last update! I've had a lot on my plate, academic-wise. Just finished summer school and I haven't got anything planned until early March so hopefully there will be a few more regular updates. Anyway. This is really short but I will update again soooooooon :D Also thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed/given feedback etc I know there are a few people who don't like this story because of the age thing but srsly go read Nabokov's _Lolita_ and this will be like an episode of Sesame Street :P ANYWAY. On with the fic!

* * *

1994

_Miranda aged 38  
Andrea aged 14_

Miranda paced the hallway of the psychiatric ward. She had been anticipating her visit to Andrea all day, but when 5pm arrived, she had suddenly become very hesitant. What state would the girl be in? Judging by the sound of Paul's voice on the phone, it was not good. Would Miranda be able to handle this? Would she be able to handle having to deal with the guilt of causing the young woman do such a thing to herself? Better yet, would Andrea forgive her? Or would her parents, if they ever found out?

Miranda glanced up at the clock and saw that she had been pacing for the last 30 minutes. It was now 6pm, and Andrea was probably wondering where she was. That is, if Paul had told her she was going to visit. If not, then maybe she could just leave. Just turn around and walk out as if nothing had happened. She could say she got stuck in traffic and visiting hours were over by the time she arrived.

No. That would be wrong.

Miranda sucked in a deep breath and squared her shoulders before spinning on her heel and walking in the direction of Andrea's room. Once she approached the doorway, she lightly tapped on the door and peered into the room, taking in the scene before her. Andrea was sitting up in a hospital bed with an IV drip in her right arm, which was being tenderly stroked by her father Paul, who sat next to her by the window. Her left arm, which laid limb over her lap, was completely covered in deep cuts. Some horizontal, but mostly vertical, following the lines of the blue veins on her arm.

Miranda fought the gasp that threatened to fall from her mouth but had failed. Paul looked up towards Miranda and smiled faintly. "Good evening Miranda." He stood from his seated position and walked over towards the woman. "I'll go and get some coffee."

Paul patted Miranda on the shoulder before stepping out of the room. Miranda stood by the hospital bed, stunned. Andrea was awake and staring out the window vacantly. Miranda momentarily wondered if the younger woman had been aware of her presence, before she stepped into the room completely and took a seat by the bed, where Paul had sat previously. She took Andrea's hand in her own in an attempt to get the girl's attention, but Andrea's eyes remained fixed on the window.

"Darling." Miranda tried, but her voice began to strain as a sob formed in her throat. She took a deep breath before speaking again. "Andrea, darling, what happened?"  
Andrea ran her tongue over her dry, cracked lips as her eyes darted around the room. Miranda instinctively reached for the plastic cup of water placed on the table by the bed, "Are you allowed to drink?"

Andrea gave a weak nod and held out her right hand. "No." Miranda shook her head.

"Here." The older woman stood and sat on the bed, gently placed a hand on the girl's shoulder and brought the cup closer to Andrea's mouth. Andrea leaned forward slightly and opened her mouth. Miranda stroked the chestnut locks away from Andrea's shoulder and neck as she tilted the cup against Andrea's bottom lip. Carefully, she poured the water into the girl's mouth, and Andrea gave a hum when she had had enough.

Miranda placed down the cup on the bedside table before delicately stroking her fingers through Andrea's long hair again. "Now, tell me what happened, sweetheart." The older woman watched as tears formed in the young girl's eyes. The tears grew fatter and began to fall, before uncontrollable, retching sobs broke out over the girl's body. "I…c…can't." Andrea managed between sobs. "I'm…s…so s…sorry."

Miranda opened her arms wide and drew Andrea into a hug, rubbing small, soothing circles over her back. "It's ok. You're ok."

Andrea shook her head. "No, it's not. And _I'm_ not." The girl nuzzled her face closer into Miranda's neck and revelled in her scent. The older woman smelt like warm, clean laundry, which had an instant calming effect over the girl. She relaxed into Miranda's embrace and wrapped her arms around her, returning into the hug. "I have to spend a month in here."

Miranda was at a loss for words. What do you usually say to someone who has to be locked up in a psychiatric ward because they've tried to take their own life? 'Good'? Or 'Oh, that's a shame'? Miranda decided to just not say anything at all, and continued to rub Andrea's back while the girl tightened her embrace.

"I'm sorry I did this to you." Andrea mumbled into Miranda's neck.

"Darling, what exactly is it that you think you have done wrong by me?"

Andrea pulled away from Miranda's embrace and hung her head low in shame. "I don't know."

"I hurt you, darling. And I apologise for that." Miranda spoke softly as she ran her hands through the girl's hair. Startled, Andrea looked up at Miranda and bit her lip cautiously.

"Am I not the reason you did this to yourself?"

Andrea shook her head. "My mother…"

Miranda sighed.

"My mother and I had an argument."

Miranda took the girl's hand in her own and rubbed it softly, encouraging Andrea to continue.

"She told me I was a disappointment to her. She's ashamed to call me her daughter." Andrea took in an unsteady breath, which resulted in a few heavy sobs. "Like she would even know. She only ever sees me two times a year. My birthday and Christmas. Except last year. She didn't even bother sending me a card for my 13th birthday. And she went on some stupid holiday with Rachelle for Christmas. Apparently they don't have phones in New Zealand!"

Miranda kept quiet as she pulled Andrea into a hug and rubbed her back, waiting for the girl's sobs to calm.

"I'm so sorry I made you think this was your fault."

Miranda tightened her embrace on the girl and placed a kiss on her temple. "It's ok, my darling. There is no blame on you at all."

Andrea's shaky sobs had subsided now and she nuzzled her face closer into Miranda's neck. She relaxed into the older woman's embrace and hummed gently. "I love you."

Miranda stiffened. She hadn't wanted to go down this path again today, but Andrea was too fragile to handle another bout of rejection. She ran her hands over the girl's shoulders while she pulled away from the embrace. Cupping Andrea's face, Miranda looked deeply into the girl's large, vulnerable eyes before placing a kiss on the tip of her nose. "I love you too."


End file.
